During the first few days of last week, Santa Monica, Calif. played host to a bevy of video game journalists, slaveringly searching for scoops to present to you, our dearest readers. Thousands of reporters representing hundreds of publications, both online and tangible, were in attendance, restlessly toiling to bring you up-to-the-minute coverage of all the major keynotes and conferences. During the seldom breaks in our otherwise hectic schedules, it was difficult not to reflect on our chosen profession, and inquire about the origins of our singular career path.

After rigorous research, we here at the Japanese Hardware Sales Institute of Gaming Journalism History discovered the earliest known example of ludological reporting -- a fantastic exposé from an O'Reilly era episode of Inside Edition, which introduces a pair of pipefitting siblings that recently made their way into the hearts and minds of our nation's children. You may have seen this particular video before, and become familiar with reporter Joel Loy's intrepid coverage of the 8-bit sensation known as "Nintendo", and his poetic assertion that the iconic plumbers represent the righteousness and dauntlessness of the human spirit.

Modern day game bloggers could take a lesson from the piece you see above. Sure, we no longer live in a world where bowties and mullets serve as appropriate work attire. Nintendo's game counselors have dispersed, putting the skills they've developed during their tenure to good use at Taco Bells across the nation. However, the exuberance and romanticism you see applied in the video above, the two traits that most game journalists have unceremoniously traded in for sarcasm and trepidation, should never have never been lost over the years.

Kids and fantasy, indeed, Mr. O' Reilly.

- PSP: 56,998 559 (0.99%)
- DS Lite: 48,540 1,085 (2.29%)
- Wii: 41,768 2,757 (6.19%)
- PS3: 12,458 1,901 (13.24%)
- PS2: 10,405 1,363 (11.58%)
- Xbox 360: 3,807 969 (20.29%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The mullet-clad archives

We realize that not everybody was fortunate enough to attend E3 last week, and therefore, missed out on their first chance to get their hands on some of the expo's much-anticipated titles. This group will have to settle with living vicariously through those lucky enough to actually get some facetime with these upcoming blockbusters -- really, though, who's a better candidate to serve up a slice of secondhand gaming than the notorious creator of one of these aforementioned high profile releases?

GameTrailers recently posted three Fable 2 walkthroughs given by the title's ambitious creator, Peter Molyneux. The first of which, posted above, gives a brief demo of the combat, followed by a preview of your hero/antihero's canine companion. In the second and third parts, posted after the break, Molyneux discusses contraception and murder, respectively. We'll be looking forward to getting our hands on this dog training/sexual health/township massacring simulator when it drops in October.

We're not exactly sure why anyone would want to punch EA Sports' charismatic figurehead, Peter Moore -- especially in his cherubesque face. Still, we guess it's nice to have that opportunity available, should you someday develop a strong Moore aversion. However, traveling to Pete's home and mercilessly pummeling him would likely be a costly and illegal venture -- luckily, EA's upcoming Facebreaker will reportedly allow you to perform a beatdown upon a digital representation of Moore's visage, free of travel expenses and assault charges.

At their E3 booth, Electronic Arts revealed that Moore's face had been scanned and entered into the game using the title's boxer creation feature. EA mentioned to gaming blog ButtonMasher that Moore's face will make it into the final retail version of Facebreaker, perhaps as an unlockable character. We'll politely abstain from exercising our pugilistic prowess on the exec, though admittedly, we wouldn't mind seeing how the tattooed spokesman held up in the ring.

As the first commenter on this post will assuredly point out, this is old news. The second commenter will likely correct him in a patronizing tone, reminding him that a requirement for news is that it be new, and that this story, therefore, is not news at all. The third commenter, a jocular fellow, will then inquire if it is, in fact, olds? We get it, alright? However, we've never failed to mention new additions to the Xbox Live Arcade, and we don't plan on starting this week. Besides, when you see these sterling new releases, we don't think you'll fault us for being a few days late to the new release party.

First up is Double D Dodgeball (800 MS points/$10), which recreates the classic playground sport with an eye-searing "retro arcade design". The game dropped two weeks before its expected release date, though a reported bug that kicks players off of Xbox Live upon starting up the game make us wonder if perhaps a few guns were jumped. Joining it is Coffeetime Crosswords (800 MS points/$10). With 150 puzzles and a co-op mode, this new entry will surely fulfill all your sinister linguiphilic desires.

Rounding out the list is the EA Fantasy Football Live Draft Tracker (400 MS points/$5), which allows users of EA's online fantasy leagues to import their league settings, draft new players, then export their new rosters back onto EA's servers. This is not a game, and we regret including it in this post.

There's been an understandable amount of excitement regarding the pseudo-sequel to 2007's "Game of the Year", Portal, following the E3 '08 unveiling of Portal: Still Alive. However, little was announced about the title by its digital anti-heroine at the Microsoft Press Conference -- luckily, Valve's Doug Lombardi spilled the beans about the game's new features, and its relationship to the first groundbreaking title, in a few interviews during last week's shenanigans.

In one such interview with GameSetWatch, Lombardi explained that Still Alive is a standalone version of the original Portal. The additional maps and challenges that were revealed on Gamerscore Blog will be pulled from the Portal: The Flash Game map pack, a 3D rendition of the award-winning web game based on the original pastry-rich puzzler. This map pack, lovingly crafted by We Create Stuff (the minds behind the Flash game), is available (and free) to download for PC portal-hoppers now.

Unfortunately, neither GlaDOS, nor any other "story elements", will be included in the extra content. As excited as we are for this expansion, the prospect of zipping around an abandoned research facility without the accompaniment of an unsettling, sing-song voice just doesn't seem right.

When it was first announced that LittleBigPlanet's Sackboy would be going fisticuffs with all manner of textile-based baddies, we were perplexed as to how these throwdowns would be executed. After all, Sackboy doesn't exactly look like a fearsome opponent -- though we suppose the same could be said for overweight plumbers, oddly-hued rodents, and most other 2D platforming superstars.

However, this recent gameplay clip from Media Molecule shows off how everyone's favorite ambulatory sack will tussle with one of the game's bosses -- by using a moving platform to bounce his own exploding barrels back at him. It looks pretty fun, though not incredibly deep. Perhaps that's a good thing -- if bosses can be this simple, will we perhaps be able to create our own? We'll have to wait until October to find out.

[Via PS3F]

Though little is known about the Wii's recently unveiled peripheral, the MotionPlus attachment, other than the fact that it will allow you to throw virtual frisbees to virtual puppies with unparalleled accuracy, Nintendo Entertainment Analysis and Development director Katsuya Eguchi alluded to a new Wiimote model that would include the MotionPlus technology during an E3 developer roundtable.

In Eguchi's own words, Nintendo is "looking at whether or not it will be an attachment or built in," so a MotionPlus Wiimote is far from confirmed. Still, we certainly hope Nintendo never ceases production of the attachment altogether -- forcing a populous that scrambled to acquire the Wii's elusive controller last year to chase after a new Wiimote SKU could lead to an unforeseen, if not slightly ironic, revolution against the prosperous company.

At the end of last month's issue of Nintendo Power, the editors promised a huge reveal in the magazine's following issue, teasing those anxiously awaiting Wii-exclusive installments in the Earthbound and Kingdom Hearts franchises. However, if the supposed scans of the cover of the upcoming edition of Nintendo Power that have begun to trickle onto the internet are legit, then the publication's big surprise could be coming from an unexpected source -- a new adventure of a recognizable blue rodent, titled Sonic and the Black Knight.

Assuming the scans are real, the twentieth anniversary edition of Nintendo Power will give readers their first look at the title. No other details are given on the supposed cover, though we're sure the sole image of the cerulean speedster brandishing a broadsword is enough to send you into a tizzy. However, let us not forget the disaster that resulted the last time we bestowed a lethal weapon upon a hedgehog.

Let's face it -- most of the gamers who read this (or any) gaming blog aren't the audience Nintendo was targeting during their E3 2008 press conference. Many long-time members of the Wii camp felt betrayed by Ninty's "major" announcements -- that's why we thought we'd try to buck-up your spirits with a GameTrailers developer interview for a title that's been gathering quite a bit of attention from fans of the pint-sized home console: High Voltage Games' The Conduit.

Voltage's Chief Creative Officer, Eric Nofsinger, doesn't exactly dish any new dirt about the title in the above video, though the gameplay shown looks solid, and fairly attractive by the standards of its designated console. Whether or not it's worthy of the hype surrounding it, we'll have to wait until the first quarter of next year to find out. In the mean time, you'll just have to feign excitement over the Wii's thoroughly unexciting Noise Creation Engine.

PS3-owning movie buffs across the globe were exuberant upon the unveiling of the PlayStation Network's video delivery service, and the announcement that it would be made available, well, now. Unless, of course, you live in Europe, Australia, or one of the many other PAL regions of the world -- according to Sony Europe exec David Reeves, Sony won't be getting their Blockbuster on in PAL territories in 2008.

Reeves promised that "dates and content for the video download service will be announced later this year," somewhat ensuring a lengthy delay. However, he did mention the launch of Go!View, the recently released European television and movie download service for the PSP, as something of a consolation. We would have preferred a promise to exclude any films written and directed by the Wayans brothers from the service's PAL incarnation.

Based off of our explorations of the Croft manor in previous Tomb Raider installments, we can say with absolute certainty that Lara Croft has a pretty sweet pad. Or, rather, had a sweet pad -- in the latest E3 trailer for Eidos and Crystal Dynamics' Tomb Raider: Underworld, the titular adventurer, now sans hot pants, apparently lays waste to her extravagant dwelling.

The two-minute, gameplay-less trailer is visually impressive, though our minds are racing with questions surrounding the top-heavy historian's act of residential sabotage. Is she trying to collect on her homeowner's insurance? Is she attempting to quash a rather formidable termite infestation? Perhaps she's trying to earn a visit from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? We'll be finding out when Underworld explodes onto store shelves November 18.

We all know that the talent of a musical performer is less important than the instrument through which they channel their rocking energies -- that's why we were pleased as punch to get a look at Mad Catz's impressive line of Rock Band 2 peripherals during E3. Sure, $200 might sound outrageous for a controller, but after viewing their full-sized (and realistically weighted) wireless Stratocaster and Precision Bass guitars, complete with foot pedals for easier "overdrive" activation, the list of things we would rather drop two Benjamins on quickly evaporated.

The heavyweight axes will be available Q1 2009, but Engadget got a sneak peek at some of Catz's less publicized periphs, due out this fall. These include M.I.C. ($30), a microphone with built-in buttons from a standard Xbox 360 controller, Portable Drums ($60), which include four flat pads that can be used on any surface, the "Official Cymbals" ($30 for 3 or $15 each), which will plug into three slots on the kit's center console, and the Kick Drum Screen -- though we're not exactly comfortable calling a circular piece of cardboard you apply to the front of your faux drum kit a "peripheral".

Here's an amusing anecdote -- while all my fellow co-workers will be soaking up the sun and the overwhelming PR spin at E3 2008 during the next few days, I'll be the only 'Stiqer not in attendance. It's nobody's fault but my own, really -- due to an incident last year involving me, Jamie Kennedy, a claw hammer, and a stern threat to murder Jamie Kennedy with a claw hammer should he ever release a sequel to Son of the Mask (which I may have issued directly to Kennedy immediately following last year's Activision press conference), I'm no longer allowed to cross the state lines of California. (Side note: Has there been a Son of the Mask 2? No, there hasn't. You're welcome, America.)

Don't weep for me, empathetic reader. My compatriots don't realize that while they'll be trolling for news in Santa Monica, I'll be attending a much more prestigious and exclusive convention -- so exclusive, in fact, that I'd wager you've never even heard of it. Yes, I'll be the only Joystiq blogger lucky enough to attend the Extreme Electronic Entertainment Expo (E4) -- in fact, I'll be the only member of the gaming media in attendance, as it is held in my apartment, and I was in charge of invitations.

Actually, I may be the only person in attendance, as the only other two invitees (Darnell, the club-footed maintenance guy for my apartment building, and this cute cashier that works at a nearby Taco Bell) have yet to RSVP. C'est la vie -- the three day schedule I've written up (which I've included after the break to show the rest of the crew exactly what they're missing out on) will be carried out, come hell or high water, or, you know, loneliness.

- PSP: 56,439 2,422 (4.11%)
- DS Lite: 47,455 1,429 (2.92%)
- Wii: 44,525 3,955 (8.16%)
- PS3: 14,359 3,614 (20.11%)
- PS2: 11,768 4,095 (53.37%)
- Xbox 360: 4,776 328 (6.43%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The uninvited archives

While it's difficult to make out the guttural baritone voice of the above trailer's narrator, we're pretty sure that this is an E3 teaser for Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II. Those already invested in the series will be glad to know that the svelte Eldar will be making an appearance in the the RTS franchise's latest installment, and that they will apparently wield neat glowing swords. At least, we think they're swords. For all we know, the Eldar might just be on their way to a futuristic fantasy-themed rave -- after all, they are well-known among their contemporaries for being the galaxy's official party race.

Relatively young game developer Meteor Games, founded by the minds behind the kid-friendly Flash game portal Neopets, recently unveiled their latest project -- a rather ambitious 3D MMO titled Twin Skies. Following the style of their claim to fame, the title will place you in the shoes of an adventurer who uses pets to do his or her pugilistic grunt work, though with various races and classes mentioned on their FAQs page, we imagine your character can hold their own in a ruckus.

Arguably the coolest thing about the title is the integration of various web-based minigames set apart from the actual title. For instance, winning one minigame might unlock a monster for you to use in Twin Skies, while another might reward you with valuable lewts upon your next login. While subscription fees haven't been decided upon, the game will be free to download direct from the Twin Skies site. We'll definitely be looking forward to this title's first appearance at PAX, if only to see if "my Twin Skies pets, let me show you them" really has the same ring to it.